In the last few post, I reflected on my good habits. On this post, I'll reflect on the opposite.
But first, a little background: I can speak, very well, in fact. But, when I have to speak in front of a lot of people, and the conversation is very impromptu, my brain goes haywire. And I can only speak in tiny bits and tiny pieces that makes no sense... and a habit I picked up from everyone in my final high school year, is to say "so... yeah..!" afterwards.
It's not a good thing, I admit. I regret it on so many levels, on how in every conversation.... my proper response would only come afterwards. I regret the fact that I'm awkward. I regret the fact that I couldn't do many things impromptu, either because I'm too OCD about it or I need more specific questions.. I have no idea why my brain works like that, maybe it's because I'm an overthinker.
To some, I may be a lady with little words. To some, I put my heart in my words. But to me, I'm just stupid.
I feel bad, and sad that it's really hard for me to say exactly what I wanted unless I have visuals. gah. my head is like a road network. Or maybe a computer, where things are all sorted out into tiny little folders that takes a heck lot of time to load.
and what's even more interesting? I'm posting more reflections on this blog now rather than pictures. oops!
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